Hidden Behind Dreams

“Because no matter what they say, you always have a choice. You just don’t always have the guts to make it.”
― Ray N. Kuili, Awakening

Dear Person Behind The Screen,

Sometimes I sit in my room and turn on music, spin on my chair and imagine. Imagine things I want to happen, or how I want to live my life, or how I want to be myself. I spend hours imagining it and even though happy in my dreams, I also feel sad because those dreams are not fully a reality. But why can’t it be?

If you want to act a certain way and you can see yourself being happier, then why don’t you? Because I don’t think changing yourself and your personality to the point when you are happy is faking it. Faking is when you are being dishonest to yourself first. And locking yourself in a cage of behaviour you are perhaps used to, is lying to yourself. And how can that ever make you happy?

I started to think that sometimes, I close my eyes and only then I see the real me. And when my eyes are opened I feel a person hidden by various social normal, social expectations and all of the others bla bla blas.

What I am saying is; if changing your hair makes you happy – DO IT, if laughing loud makes you happy – DO IT. As long as you are not of harm to others around you, why can’t you be you and be happy?

Truly yours,

xxx

Never on Your List

“Don’t shave my head to make your wig of selfishness. Shave it because you care.”
― Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALEHow-to-love-1

Dear Person Behind the Screen,

I have learnt to understand that it is impossible to expect people to do exactly what you would do in their situation.

Wait, this is rather vague.

I feel like it is rather natural for people to need somebody who cares. An obvious rule of that, is being the one who cares too. Because how can you expect something honest and real when you can’t give it in return. This sounds rather materialistic, but isn’t it true? I mean can you truly appreciate or experience love if you are not capable of love? My opinion: no. And the same opinion applies to care too.

With love it is somewhat different because sometimes you fall in love and there is really little you can do about it, and sometimes you don’t even choose who you fall in love with. But is it the same with care? At what point do you stop yourself from caring about somebody who does not care (or at least does not care enough) about you and is it even possible?

And I understand that every individual has their own level of capability to show love or care. But when you are willing to do so much just to let the person know you are here for them… and well when you need them you hear radio silence.

And don’t get me wrong, I understand that sometimes people make mistakes and there are misunderstandings and so many other reasons which later turn into excuses. So when is it crossing the line?

For me love is more than just holding hands. So when the person is there for you to share happiness, but is missing from your misery… is it still love?

What do you think?

Truly yours,

xxx

Life Knows No Time

 

“There comes a time when the world gets quiet and the only thing left is your own heart. So you’d better learn the sound of it. Otherwise you’ll never understand what it’s saying.”
― Sarah Dessen, Just Listen 

Dear Person Behind The Screen,

Life goes on. Goes on in ways it is hard to imagine, sometimes you can plan things and it is great. Sometimes you don’t plan anything and somehow it works out for the best (even better than you could have possibly imagined). But then there are other times, when things don’t work out. I think with years, I have grown to realise that when things don’t happen exactly how you want it, it is not all that bad, in fact some times it opens a world much better. And not just a better world, a better you grows out of the experience.

It is almost impossible to avoid change. Life knows no time.

However what I have grown to realise, is that life does move on and there are people and things that leave our life (which is normal too) and sometimes we just have no time to maintain things. Recently it hit me ‘I have no time’ has turned from a reason to an excuse. I no longer use it when I am actually busy, but I say it when I am not sure or simply too lazy.

This has led me to another thought.

Because of these excuses I have abandoned the little things I used to love and treasure. And I think this is wrong. If something brings us happiness (no matter how little it is) we should try our best to find time for it. Because at the end of the day, most often, it is the little things which make our days worth while. And at the end of the day, you don’t know how many of those little things will turn into big things.

Truly yours,

xxx