‘When someone loves you, the way they talk about you is different.’
-Jess C. Scott
Dear person behind the screen,
relationships are complicated, even the simple once are complicated. Maybe it’s due to our nature, humans love to over think and over complicate even the most simple things of all. But relationships are hard because for once you don’t just care for your own heart (at least that how it’s supposed to be in my mind), you care for somebody elses heart too. A heart which was a stranger at first, but then became one of the closest. I guess there isn’t just one secret to how to keep a functional relationship, there are a million of them and every couple has their own. This is why I always disagreed with the lists magazines post, because what’s right for them, isn’t necessarily right for you. You have to learn how to stay in love yourself, the rest can just offer suggestions. After numerous of heart breaks I have discovered the secret for me. Or at least it is the secret of my present.
The secret of freedom.
Freedom comes in so many different forms and shapes. I know a lot of people, or at least people I knew in the past, who think that when you enter a relationship you give your freedom away. You are no longer alone or a one, from now on you are two. If before I was fooled in believing that, I reject the idea now. I do not believe that you have to talk to a person 24/7 (especially if it is a long distance relationship), I don’t think it is necessary to give the person an hour to an hour account of what you are doing each day, and updating the other person of your moves hourly. NO! I reject this idea now. I think you can and you have to be free in a relationship to make it last.
With freedom comes trust, the trust to know that regardless of what the person will be doing, where and who with, the person will always stay faithful to you. Of course you may want and need to set some basic grounds because we all have our different ideas of ‘normal’. But what isn’t normal is locking the person inside a cage, even if it is a golden cage, it is still a cage. Now I think there is something special when you two have the freedom to do things you want and then come back to the same bed and share all the minutes of happiness you had separate together. Of course there will always be people who would prefer the golden cage, but that will never be me.