Are we having sex or love?

‘Sex without love is as hollow and ridiculous as love without sex.’

-Hunter S. Thompson.wp_ss_20150714_0001

Dear person behind the screen,

from a very young age we see people fall in love with each other, whether it is in real life, books or movies. But we grow up knowing that it is almost our second nature to find somebody to fulfill us. The level of that fulfillment changes as we grow older. In primary school it’s going to a school ball together and holding hands, then later it’s labeling each other a couple and learning to kiss. As we grow older this affection transforms into something more intimate and something which involves more trust: sex.

I know that now, children seem to grow and mature a lot faster than we did. At the same age, but in a different time I was still playing with dolls, and now some children raise their own kids. Something I wouldn’t even imagine when I was their age, the only contact with a baby I could have had is to have a younger sibling or to see my friend’s baby brother. When I was babysitting at 11 I couldn’t even put a dipper on the correct way, yet alone become a mother.

This makes me think. We do not lose our virginity the first time we have sex. We might lose it in a biological way, but not in any other. To have sex alone, is perhaps one of the easiest things you can do in a relationship. It is not hard to lose your clothes and vanity.

What I am trying to put across is that, you lose your virginity when not only you are 100% ready to commit to the act, but also when it happens with somebody so special, that it is not just love. It is friendship and feelings which is impossible to describe in any way known to men. When it will feel like a scene from a movie, even the little moments of shyness will feel perfect. And no, then it wouldn’t be sex, it would be love. Love, after which you will feel complete and not empty. Love not as a feeling we know it from romance books. I don’t think you have to be in love to experience this. Your feelings just have to be strong, honest and special. ( not something everybody can feel.) And it wouldn’t matter with how many people you have slept before, this ‘first’ time will always be different. This is not to say that this happens for all, I am sure there are people who meet that one person the very first time they give themselves away.

I just want emphasize it once again to all of my young readers. Don’t hurry up to grow up, you will do so in your own time. And when you do, it won’t be rushed, yet it will be aw so much special.

Truly yours,


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