Can we love each other truly if we are so different?

‘For the two of us, home isn’t a place. It is a person. And we are finally home.’

-Stephanie Perkins.

Dear person behind the screen,

Thanks to the unbelievable traffic when a snail can walk (not quite sure how you call snails movement actually) faster than the distance you managed to travel in a car, I had the joy of taking the public transport. We all know that sometimes it can get a little too much down there. I am not going to lie to you and say that I read or focus on my music when I am in the tube. I am quite happy looking at people. But I am a writer, that’s what we do: We observe.

So while “observing” (or as others may call it stalking) I noticed a couple on my left side. If I tell you that they were simply different, it would mean saying nothing at all. She was (probably still is) a gentle lady girl, with her back 180 degrees straight as if somebody held up a protractor behind her. With a very beautiful and kind smile. And he… Well he didn’t act like prince charming. Yet what truly matteredwp_ss_20150711_0002 was that you didn’t need a second glance to understand that they were in love. Of course love managed to erase all the differences and unite them into one.

This made me wonder about how exactly do we choose our partners. I refuse to believe that it is our biology which forces us to look for a mate and that love is a response to the ‘love hormone’ being emitted into our brain. I was always a supporter of a more romanticized version that we look to find our soul mates, our once in a life time. But can our once in a life time be a polar opposite of us?

In my experience polar opposites only worked for a short period of time, interesting arguments about our perception of the world soon changed into heated fights. Fight after a fight killed all feelings existing and all feelings possible. Was I too stubborn and tried to win all fights, even those I should have agreed to lose? Or did it mean that it was simply not mine and more special feelings were ahead of me. I know the second is true because I did find them, but the past me had no way of knowing it. 

Though at the same time I understand that if two people agree on every single issue possible and they keep looking into each other mouths, then life can soon become very bitter-sweet. This only shows me one thing, that like in everything, there can be no successful relationships with out balance and compromises. One thing I learned through all of my heart breaks, is that only those rare real, honest and special relationships can survive balance, as it is never reached easily. I know it may seem like the easiest thing to sometimes close your eyes when a person forgets to call, but things are much harder when a person forgets to be there for you. Only those special relationships can live through it and not kill the happiness. And no it doesn’t mean to allow the other person to walk over you, it simply means choosing your battles.

I still have a lot to learn, because I don’t think that anybody had truly mastered the art of relationships. But what I do know is that no matter how it may hurt at the present, sometimes things fall apart so that better things can form.

Truly yours

XxxPhotocredit: bestsayings

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